Klegg Dagrok - Post Apocalyptic Dirtbag

Klegg Dagrok is a typical wasteland dirtbag, spending most of his time burning gas, cruising the slums, and racing in the semi-pro last man standing thrash rash enduros. Pro racers are the post-apocalyptic equivalent of star athletes, and they often travel long distances to perform and race in larger settlements. Lesser known riders often take jobs as escorts for caravans, messengers, or sometimes even traders/traveling mechanics to support their dream of hitting the big time. Klegg is out on a pleasure ride, and his bike is stripped down without any extra gear, saddlebags, or fuel. He has his pistol with him for protection, but in a race he would be armed with his favorite hand to hand weapon.

I got the idea for his pose from a book called "Street Bike Extreme," where dudes wearing Jncos do stoppies on rice rockets and point at the camera a lot. It was a good find for like $2 on the junk table at an auto parts swap meet. Minor conversions include a head swap from a Nercromunda Orlock, arm swap from a Mantic Deadzone Enforcer, a sculpted shoulder pad, skull, and belt.

The Street Machine: '97 Trek 800

Been collecting some trick parts and working on my rides lately, and by now much tinkering has been performed, wrenches have been turned, wheelies and stoppies practiced, and shit is torqued.

My ol' girl, a blue Trek 800 that I got new in 1997, is going through a complete rebuild right now. It was pulling teeth to get my parents to buy me a brand new "real" bike, rather than something from Toys R Us or Walmart. For sure they never expected over 20 years later I would still be riding it. She has been my daily driver, beer bike, errand runner, cruiser, and all around hot roddin' steed since well, I guess my early teenage years. I did my first substantial rebuild of her when I moved back from Colorado in 2012. There's at least 5,000 miles on her since then, but years of use and abuse, even with regular care and maintenance, destroys even the best parts.

A bike like this is like building a really sweet Pinto. Or painting really rad 80's-era miniatures. In my opinion, It's poishing a turd all the way around to the point of being pretty fucking cool. But then again, I like Pintos, and own a substantial stash of classic lead. But back to her style... I'd meet a lady out for a date on this, which is probably part of the reason I don't have a lady. When she told me "We're at different places in our lives," it would be wheelies, jumps, and shenanigans all the way home. I still have the receipt and owners manual, and it was supposed to be matte dark blue. I remember being really into the matte finishes Trek used in the 90's, and was bummed about the delivered color being different. At this point I'm so stoked, cause that shit would be dated as hell, and the glossy royal blue with red and yellow decals is sexy. Seriously, I'd paint aforementioned mythical Pinto, or an early '80s Fox-stang based off the colors on this bike, but that is for sure a rant for a completely seperate post.


A quick breakdown of the build where she sits:

Surly Sunrise bars with Cult/Vans gum grips. Grips were previously different sets of ODI/Vans, but at this point in my life I feel you lose some connection with locking grips, and I'm moving away from them. Paul Love Levers with matching Motolite brakes, and at some point years ago there was a different set of Paul levers.

Reissue 1" quill S&M Redneck stem in what else? Red. 1" quill BMX stems are always a part I cruise ebay, craiglist, and yard sale bikes for in case something interesting comes up. I borrowed a bike from a buddy years ago with a Redneck stem on it, and I remember him making a big deal about it. I had been debating if a red stem would work, and finding out S&M reissued them exactly when I was shopping for a high quality piece sold me. I was considering a Bassett BMX bottom load stem as well, which is a beautiful piece.

I'm impressed so far with the new set of Promax square taper cranks, but eventually I'd like to find some nice vintage polished crank arms. New Shimano bottom bracket. Surly 36t chainring. KMC chain, cause they are the only chains for BMX and singlespeeding.






Vintage Crupi Pro bear trap pedals. Other than some sweet stems, Bassett BMX also makes replacement cages for these and Hutch Pro pedals, and some beautiful looking classic BMX pedals of their own design.

Paul hubs with Sun Rhynolite XL rims. My buddy taught me how to lace wheels with these, so one of these is the first wheel I built. Maxxis skinwall DTH (Drop the Hammer) dirt jump tires. Freewheel is 16 tooth and probably an ACS crossfire.

Kalloy Uno seatpost with WTB Volt saddle. A Chromag Trailmaster LTD leather saddle is on order. Maybe I'll work on tracking down an anodized red seatpost in the future.

Below are also the pictures I dug out of excellent rides and good times in the past!

The Sugino cranks were wore out years ago, and one picture features a beautiful set of Caramba cranks that are now toast. I'm bummed on that one. Also, daaaang... looking back, she looked really good with those old school Ritchey tires and SDG saddle!

Note the massive fucking hoagie, good for singlespeeding 30+ miles.

Studio pics and WIPs

Check out my new painting digs. Pretty stoked on this new arrangement, it's in the same room as my workout equipment, so I'm forced to stare at my shamefully unfinished work regularly. I've been continuing on my efforts of blasting through unstarted or unfinished pieces from the past decade. Man, thats weird to say.

Here's a shot of the cool shit lurking in that case. Most are difficult to find or rare kits and box sets. Take note of that Sony tape deck all ready for a 4-eye fox-body to blast Pantera and go fast in.

Here's a Rackham Mid-Nor King, with a converted crab claw arm I sculpted. I'm pretty much down to building a base for him now. I've been kicking around some ideas of evil puppets/miniature castles/cosmic horror type stuff inspired by some of the other miniatures in the line. There will be a tile floor being torn up by the tentacles on the top, and below I started on the puppet battlements.

This is a Privateer Press Dire Troll Mauler. I thought this was going to be a limited release when it came out, so I picked one up immediately. It's an expensive and hefty piece of pewter, requires a bunch of pins and putty work to assemble, and is totally worth it. There are a lot of hours in here so far, and I'm trying to keep my head up and stay motivated. Basing is still undecided.

Still alive and kickin'

Apologies, it has been a heck of a long time. It looks like 4 years or so since I last graced you nerds with some dumb words about things I have been working on. Posted below are some miniatures I have finished recently. Enjoy. Maybe there will be more sometime soon!

Surly Mk. 3 in Progress

I've wanted to get into trials mountain biking for a while, but I just never really dedicated to buying or setting up a bike specifically for the purpose. In my own unimitable way, rather than buying a bike that is made to do what I want to do, I decided to convert my trusty Surly 1x1 to a trails and trials ready shredder. We shall see how this truly works out. I'm never going to be able to tear it up like dudes who have been riding trials for years, and that is not my goal. I'm stoked to work on my performance and handling skills. You know... flow better, ride faster, impress babes. Also, I can go to the indoor skatepark and still ride when the weather sucks.

I snagged the Complete Guide to Trial Riding by Julien Happich, the webmaster of TrashZen, which is a site with massive amounts of riding tutorials. His book and website are both most highly recommended. If you wanna check out some wicked trials riders, check out Hans Rey, Kenny Belaey, Martyn Ashton, and Ryan Leech. Really, you should just put Sabotage on repeat and watch the first 10 minutes of this.

Here we are in the current state of this build. Looks a little hipstery right now. Says grown ass man blogging, wearing skinny jeans, and listening to punk rock records.

Ahh... the venerable Surly 1x1. What can she not do? Use a derailleur! Ha! I was lucky enough to come across a pristine 2008 model, in my size (rare), on the 'Bay a couple years ago. I have a hunch it must have been used by a roadie to build a cyclocross bike. Silly roadies. It had Eddy Merckx stickers on it, and the lawyer tabs on the fork were ground off. Major fail, dude. I am not super keen on my axle coming loose and losing my front wheel while shredding down a rocky hill at 20 mph. Also, Surly, you got rid of the canti mounts on the 1x1? I'd proably have bought a new Pepto Pink frame by now.

So if you fancy doing things my way, you're gonna want to start with your main trail bike. Hope you run v-brakes and a 26er! If not, well, your technology is dumb. My vast amounts of scientific research show that a rear disc on a 26" trials wheel makes stuff break. Being a big dude who breaks stuff, I feel that is a way important detail to know. I hope you didn't invest in this 29" wheel, disc brakes, carbon fiber, and lighter is bester fad. It's all a conspiracy! Rim brake steel 26'ers will rise again!

Drivetrain

Buy yourself a granny gear and new tensioners for both sides of your wheel. Thats a extended length bolt for a Paul rear hub. Stronger and safer when running a chain tensioner. Crucial. I have one for both sides. These are Trialtech tensioners.

Hey, look, I used my brain. That is a wrench from an old Paasche airbrush. The larger end will adjust that there tensioner when you are 5 miles from the trailhead and you just had to patch that rear tube cause you forgot to toss a spare in the saddlebag. Hopefully you remembered the saddlebag with the wrenches in it. And some way to inflate a tube.

Words on Dinglespeeding

 

You're gonna want to work on your drivetrain a bit. Slap that granny gear on your crankset. I had to buy a new one cause I throw that shit out every time I pull one off a bike. It's an issue I have. I know of at least a couple sets of useful and nice deraillereurs that got thrown in the trash cause, well, gears suck. I picked up a 22 tooth ring, and when my new wheel is built, I'll be using an 18 tooth cog.

The plan is essentially to build a dingle-speed (that's a single speed with 2 cogs and rings that I can manually switch the chain between) that can be run at either 32-20 or 22-18. Unfortunately, in my application, this will require a second chain. It's going to be a bit of a pain in the ass to switch back and forth, but I'll deal.

Usually a dingle speed will use two gear combos that have the same number of teeth. This allows you to swap your chain back and forth between gear ratios without affecting the alignment or placement of the wheel. Take my Trek, for example, it is set up as 36-16, so if I wanted to run a 32-20, both combinations have 52 teeth, and the wheel will seat at exactly the same spot, with the same chain. I could ride the 10 miles to the trails, then swap my chain to a ratio that was possible to ride said trails.

 

Fork Stuff

I did upgrade to a trials-specific disc-brake front-fork. It is a bit lighter, and much stiffer than my stock Surly fork. Goodbye front V-brakes. Man, what was I just ranting about not too long ago? Poser, huh? There is, unfortunately, much less tire clearance on the new fork, but I'll deal. The stock fork did have a ton of flex, and it was difficult to pop endos reliably. The new fork also has slightly less rake, so it brings the wheel in closer to the frame. It will be more nimble, at the expense of getting a little more twitchy when bombing down hills. All around, it should fix a lot of handling issues I had with the stock fork. It's also blacker than my soul and looks snazzy. Bonus!

I threw that guy in the clamp of my bike stand and took a hack saw to it. It's definitely a nervous task taking a saw to brand new parts, but I pulled through pretty well. We'll see have to see how the fork does.

 

 

Hints for sawing up forks (or anything else) with a hacksaw:

 

 

1. Measure many many times before cutting. A set of calipers would be rad, but I use a nice metric ruler from a dissection set. Seriously, if you paint miniatures, build models, or dick with bikes, purchase a dissection set. So many useful tools. When cutting a fork, measure your stem stack height, head tube length, and bottom bracket height. Learn it. If you are building a model, measure many times. Make a mark. Measure again.

2. Clamp down your part and mark around the top edge of it with a thicker Sharpie. You should probably use black. As you can see, all I found was a red. Subtract a couple (thats like, 2) milimeters from the line. Yes, you could do this outright and skip my last instruction, but just don't. Knowing how your parts fit and work together goes a long way into proper construction, function, and reliability. It saves a lot of frustration when you know what is wrong with your bike, and know how to fix it.

3. Use a razor saw, or diamond needle file to make a guide mark. The hacksaw is going to slide everywhere if there is not a solid groove for it to sit. It's kinda like pinning a miniature.

4. Oil that saw! Put a drop of chain lube on the part being cut when the groove in 5 or so mm deep.

Brake Stuff

I snagged an old school style V-brake booster to help lock up my back wheel better. For the time being, she will just be running a back brake. Park style.

As far as tire choices currently go, I'll continue rocking the knobby Continental Mountain King 2.4 in the rear for the forseeable future, but I switched out the front for a smoother and skinnier old Ritchey InnoVader I had laying around. I'm running a much lower pressure than I would usually use on the trail.

That is a lot of words for now. I'm suprised you made it this far. I'll toss some painting crap up here sometime soon, and check back for the exciting conclusion of Jake rants about bikes while listening to punk rock. Also, Evil Army.

Bikes. Lego Jake.

I frequently disappear from this blog for long periods of time. I also mention bikes from time to time, and that's probably a large reason of why I'm incommunicado. I started this post on the auspicious 1-year anniversiary of breaking myself while mountain biking. I figured I'd break it down (Heh!) and give you heaping crapload of stuff about bikes, most of which you probably don't care about. Now that it is a few weeks later, I finally finished it. Cool? Party! Hang in there. There are Legos later!

 

 

These are the current states of my rides. They are both rigid steel 26ers with rim brakes. Aluminum? Disc brakes? Big wheels? I don't need your technology.

 

The Trek 800 (left) is my townie/commuter/bar bike thrasher. I got her brand new in '97 or so. It isn't a rare or valuable frame, but it means a lot to me. It was like pulling teeth to get my parents to buy me a brand new Trek as a teenager. I've rebuilt almost everything. 36X16 gearing. Ritchey front wheel and tires. Gusset Open Prison dirt jump bars. Old-school BMX stem. Paul brake levers. Sugino mountain cranks, Primo pedals, and SDG saddle. She's built like a tank, and gets ridden at least 1500 miles a year. Some cool parts will be heading her way soon.

The Shredbeast Annihilator is a 2008 Surly 1x1 frame. I was stoked to find an older Surly frame on eBay, not only in my size, but in practically mint condition. For some reason there were Eddy Merckx stickers on it when it arrived. It is a mystery. I'll assume you have no idea what that means, but its pretty much like putting Ferrari stickers on a Jeep. My only complaint is it is arrrrnge, and not weed green or pepto pink. I built her from the ground up to be Jake-proof. If only I could bike proof the Jake. Geared 32x20 for Pennsyltuckey hills. Sun Rhyno Lite XL rims laced to Paul hubs. I laced the rear wheel myself. Matching Raceface cranks, chainring. 66Sick saddle. Carbon TRP brake levers. My trail ripper and Sunday driver. I'd like to post a full build log at some point, but we shall see.

 

 

I'm not really one to post pictures of myself on here, but here is a cool picture of me riding through the woods. It also gives a frame of reference in case you do not actually know me in the real world.

 

 

Now that crap is out of the way, I occassionally play with Legos. Imagine that. A grown ass man who writes a blog about playing with toy robots and little space men also plays with plastic interlocking bricks. Since shreds are a no-go on the East Coast at this time of year, I discovered I happen to have a perfect Lego me and a bicycle. Of course, being an obsessive tinkerer, I couldn't leave well enough alone, and out came my favorite sleeveless Napalm Death shirt, clippers, razor saw, files, and paints.

 

 

This is where it began. I posted the first picture on the book of faces, and aside from the fact it does very much resemble me, I recieved complaints he was not doing my pose, and his helmet is red. See that lame reflector and fender on the bike, most non-heinous. We're gonna have to do something about that.



Bring down the goddamn stars!

First you need a torso. Sand that shit down. I used Testor's sanding films. They are awesome, I've been using them for years. Then paint on it. This is not a very good tutorial, I know. I probably should have primed before I painted, but I was in a drunken fit of motivation. I also carved down the front rim of the helmet with needle files, as it obscured his (my?) eyebrows. I lightly sanded his right arm as well, as I painted on some tattoos. I will prime and paint the helmet at some point, it will be black with a Despise You sticker on the side.

You're gonna want to dig out your finest sleeveless for this.

Torso! This is the end! You can't fight back if you have no arms or legs!

Here is the bike completed. I used a razor saw and files to trim down the offending bits of the bike. It looks a lot cleaner and ready to rip. The downfall is that I removed the kickstand, so it falls over constantly now. I drilled a tiny hole in bottom of the frame so I can use .020" brass wire to hold the bike while totally shredding some gnarly tricks. I will probably paint the bike as well, probably lime green. Maybe purple.

 

There you have it!

Go ride!

Even Lego Jake is a dick. He can also rip a rad endo!

 

New Logo

Check it out, right up there. Up at the top. I started that logo last year while I was broken, and I came across it the other day and finished it up. Stoke. Yeah, it's kinda half assed and rough around the edges, so it works with everything else on this site.

For posterity's sake.

 

Other than that, I've been working on this dude. He kinda reminds me of GG Allin. I feel that if any mythical races were going to strip naked, play with their little ding-dongs, and cover themselves with feces, it would probably be the orks. I took pictures of the stages I used to paint his helm, but they didn't really come out too well. Sorry, dudes. No tutorials for you today.