noseatsXnomercy

I'm taking a short break from the Klunker on account of major part failures. The idea to continue to low buck it for dirt bag cred and potential future sale means I need to actively track down some functional but cheap bmx cranks. It has been a whole thing already, so I'm sick of it. Imagine that?

In other important news around the Shred Shed, I traded Ol' Trouble to my nephew for his 1st gen Surly 1x1. This leaves me needing some sort of tricked out silly bike. I was getting worried about consuming dooks (and the resulting permanent injuries to my aging body), so it was probably the best to go a little less hard. I guess they built a little dirt jump track in the town little dude lives in, and so he's been riding that a lot. I'd be stoked if I was 14 years old and that was my bike, and he definitely bounces better than I do these days!

I'm not gonna go into a whole rant or history of observed trials, street trials, or whatever. I dig the strategic and technical challenges of trials riding, and back to the getting old thing, I'm not planning on hammering 10 foot acid drops or nothin'. Here is a video. They make street trials bikes these days as well, which look similar to a bmx bike with front and rear brakes. The whole sport and style is very uhh... European, if you know what I'm saying. I hope you do, cause I don't. But really, it is a more British and Euro-centric style of riding, so a lot of these parts I had to order from overseas. Tarty Bikes is where it's at, they have tons of cool shit and I generally get stuff next day. It's crazy how fast I get parts from England. Whoever packed my last order also clearly saw all my green parts and tossed in some matching Jitsie stickers. Big thanks, it's the little stuff!

This frame has been kicking around in my world for around 5 years at this point. I had it complete once before, but immediately mashed together the drivetrain and busted everything on the first ride. The frame is an Onza Limey 3 Team model. Currently the only steed in my collection not made of Crom's finest - steel is real, bitches. Still, it is a beautiful piece of hydroformed aluminum (or aluminium considering this shit is from Jolly Old England - pip pip cheerio). It uses traditional track style dropouts and is spaced at 135mm, and both of those were major considerations when I picked this frame. The geometry is fairly mild by today's standards as well. Aside from obviously not sitting, these bikes are super weird and uncomfortable to ride if you aren't used to it.

But get ready for the reoccurring topic of busted shit and thrashing out expensive parts. I say that because in one way it's like "yeah buddy, I did that," but in another way, that was probably at least a hunnert bones straight into the scrap bin. Someone once said not to buy dedicated trials parts, the ol' maxim "cheap, light, strong - pick two" doesn't apply. I can attest to that.

I'd like to think I've made great strides in bicycle mechanic-ing since I last threw this thing together, and here is to hoping this build will take the abuse.

Remember how I said I mashed a bunch of parts up immediately upon my first ride? I had to replace everything from the trials specific drivetrain aside from the bottom bracket*. Trials shit did not impress me, I even used the caged pedals on another build (I really like old school beartraps), and I split the axle on one. Trash. 

I just wanted to show these off.

I initially set it up with some pretty Raceface XC cranks, but I found a set of Truvativ Hasslehoff (what a stupid name) cranks to swap them out. I would destroy those RF mighty quick, and they are in great condition. They need to go on a sick steel singlespeed. Hint. Those Spank pedals are rockin', and I've found that overly machined platform pedals get wrecked quick with technical riding.

* I guess the bash is pretty trials specific as well. Super strange technical trials things: The BB shell is 68mm. The spindle length is 128mm. ISIS splined. If the spindle length was skinnier the 22t granny chainring would interfere with the frame. A regular bash could be used, but it looks funny and I keep my builds tight.

 

At some point I laced up a set of Chris King hubs with Onza Hogs trials rims. This was actually for the old Surly, and I was going to try to ride trials on a standard steel mountain bike frame. I don't think my mechanic skills were up to the challenge at that point, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm lucky I didn't fuck up a lot of other stuff with that project! I think that whole scheme happened a year or two before I got this frame, and those wheels treated me well on my faithful old steed, but it was time for them to find their special purpose.

 

 

Hope Trialzone brake up front, Ti hardware, super dope ano green lever and master cylinder cover. Hydraulic Racing Line brakes out back, with as much matchy matchy Ti bling that I could get. Boneriffic! Those Gusset grips feel terrific. Super thin slide on grips... like raw doggin' it with your handlebars.

 

 

But it's beautiful. And look at the machined headtube. I dig the whole UFO thing goin' on, down to the Oozy pedals, it just happened to work out like that. Man. What a fuckin' build. I really outdid myself. 

 

Nigel Tuffnel - "Who's that in there? It's a little guy."

Now I just need to learn to throw down on it.

I figured noseatsXnomercy was the time to introduce some lesser known tunes from the Suicidal catalog. You may recognize this song from the Controlled by Hatred/Feel Like Shit Deja Vu EP. Maybe you have even wondered why that release was considered an EP. Maybe you don't care and have more important things to worry about. Anyways, read the history here, cause I'm too lazy to put it in my own words. Because sometimes I talk about art and shit, this is a good interview/retrospective on Richard Clayton, the SxTx and NxMx artist. 

Dude, if you think the SxTx version of this song rips, turn this fucker up. It makes me think of future dystopian punk rock necromancers breaking into the cyber morgue and bringing back all the corpses with green lightning. Seriously, I can see it. Mosh fodder. Grindcore bands play and rival black magic gangs battle their shambling hordes for shitty soilent beer sponsorships. The future is gonna rule.